Personally, I believe you carry a child for 40 weeks, not just because the baby needs time to grow, but because you need every last bit of that time to come up with a name! My husband and I literally began searching baby names within hours of finding out I was expecting. And no sooner had we started, did we realize how challenging it would be.

I'd pick a baby name, he'd shut it down. He'd pick a name, and I'd remind him of the unpleasant things it rhymed with. We both used the "I went to school/worked with so-and-so" many times. So, when we were finally able to narrow it down, we were beyond thrilled.

At the time, we both wanted to stick with the same first letter for all of our future children's names (that didn't happen), so when we decided on our favorite boy name, Hayden, we immediately began searching the H's for our girl name. And when we found the name Hadley, we fell in love. As the months passed, and we found out we were having a girl, we couldn't have been more pleased with our decision -- Hadley it was.

When we learned we were expecting the second time, we honestly didn't think too much about baby names until the actual gender reveal. It was a boy, and we had already decided on Hayden three years earlier. Piece of cake, right? Nope -- three years later Hayden didn’t have quite the same ring to it. 

My husband and I decided we wanted to use a boy name that revolved around our alma mater, The Ohio State University Then, one night after coming home from a football game, it hit us: Tatum, after football star, Jack Tatum. Not only because my husband played the same position as him at OSU, but because his nickname was "The Assassin." And when I was expecting my dear son, I honestly thought he was going to kill me.

Though we second-guessed it right up until we filled out the paper work after he was born, I can't imagine him as anything other than our Tatum.

Are my names traditional? Not really. Did we have many naysayers with both of our children's name choices? Of course, but in the end, working with my husband to come up with the perfect monikers for our little ones made it all worth it.

Photo by Melisa Figueroa on Unsplash

When I became a father for the second time, I was more confident, less anxious -- but definitely not any less excited. I love having two boys to play with and think they’re the best buds ever. Having two kids has changed my life, and not only my day-to-day duties, but also my overall wants and needs.

While it would be nice to have two me’s to get twice as much done, here are a few realistic gifts for a dads with two kids or more:

Photos: The first baby tends to be the parental-paparazzi magnet. With two kids, I find myself changing diapers more often than reaching for a camera. And now I’m missing twice the firsts, funny faces, and smiles while away at work. Pictures and videos keep me connected to my boys, and are also something I can hold onto for when the boys grow up -- a gift that keeps giving.

Babysitting time: One of the best gifts I ever received was a weekend from my mother-in-law. She took the boys, and I took my wife camping. With two young boys, life has become all about routine. Breaking that routine and spending quality time with my wife is one of the best gifts a dad can ask for.

If your children are anything like my boys, watching the kids for a weekend is a large commitment. But even just a night or a few hours of babysitting is great. Finding a sitter can be tough. And last minute dinner plans don’t tend to work out for second-time dads. Offering to babysit not only saves us the hassle of finding a sitter, it also reminds us to take some time for ourselves.  

Toys and games for all: It’s always amazing watching the boys play, but even more so with others. Toys and games that we can all play together would be a great gift. With my boys, playing tends to be less about the rules and more about what can you throw, imagine, and build. Soft toys we can throw around the yard, big floor puzzles, and other all-inclusive toys and games would make great gifts for dads who now have two buddies to play with.

Video streaming subscription: Getting two boys to sit still isn’t the easiest task in the world -- especially when there are toy cars to be driven! My wife and I always have a movie or TV show at the ready when we need the boys to be in a calmer state, like when we need to get the laundry done. A little video distraction (and a variety a subscription offers) can help a second-time parent get small tasks done. And it’s nice to watch the shows with our kids sometimes, too!

Any father would be lucky to be gifted with one of these dad-approved ideas, that being said, the best gift of all has been being able to be a dad to my boys!

When I was pregnant, we decided to leave the sex of our babies a surprise -- that’s right, I said babies, as in more than one! My husband and I were expecting twins! My birth story was one I will never forget. I found out a couple days before my delivery day that both babies were breech. That meant, that a C-section was a must, so my doctors scheduled one for December 26, 2012.

I was on bed rest for three weeks prior to my delivery. Really, the only time I was allowed to get up each day was to go to the bathroom. Thank goodness it was close to Christmas and lots of holiday movies were on television. On December 18^th, I had an appointment to see how the babies were doing. My doctor checked me out and told me I was dilated 6 cm. She left to call the high-risk doctor we had been seeing for the twins, too.

I was thinking, “I bet we are having a C-section in a day or two.” My doctor walked back in the room and said these words, “We are going to have a birthday party at 7:30 tonight!” I was so shocked -- and excited!

Everything went pretty fast from that point forward. I remember thinking this date was going to be their birthday! Ready or not, this was it; I would be delivering twins tonight! When my husband arrived at the hospital with our bags, I thought, “This is real!” He had such an excited look on his face and I was at ease knowing he was there with me.

Pretty quickly, our family started showing up. The nurses and doctor prepped me and explained what was going to happen, all while monitoring the babies. I kept looking at the monitors, praying that the babies were healthy, strong, and ready to be born four weeks early.

In the operating room, it was freezing and kind of scary, everything was so stark white. However, I loved my doctor and knew I was in good hands. Soon enough, the surgery began, and I just kept looking at my husband wondering what was going on behind the sheet. All of a sudden they said, “Here is the first one…it’s a girl!” Oh my gosh, I thought, a girl! Wow! A minute later, which felt like forever, they said, “It’s another girl!” I was shocked and so was my husband! Not knowing for eight months and then we knew -- two girls! How amazing and blessed we are! Both girls were healthy and beautiful. From that day on, our lives have been the best they could ever be.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

My daughter Paloma’s first hours on earth were obviously filled with a lot of baby milestones. First breath, first cry, first feeding.

But I never anticipated that her first hand-grasp would come less than an hour after she was born.

Yet, when the nurse went to listen to her heartbeat, Paloma reached out and grabbed onto the stethoscope with her baby hand, refusing to let go. The nurse was surprised not only at our new baby’s hand-eye coordination, but at the strength of Paloma’s grasp. Turns out, her first baby milestones were coming fast and swift!

The nurse went on to tell us that Paloma’s firm grip -- one of the first steps in her long list of growing baby developments -- was a sign of her intelligence. Looking back, I’m guessing she probably says that about every newborn, but at that moment, my husband and I absolutely believed her. Whatever nice thing someone says about your baby right after she’s born, you are 100 percent the proud parent.

But for me, that hand-grasp was more than just a baby milestone; it’s a moment I remember, because it really showed Paloma’s personality -- a personality that, as a mother, I had already experienced. Even in utero, I felt that she was a really feisty baby. She was very stubborn and very aware of what she wanted. Her strong baby hand grabbing the stethoscope was the perfect illustration of that: Paloma was not just going to lie there helplessly while someone put a cold, metal stethoscope on her chest. She stopped it. Even though she was brand new to this world, I remember thinking “of course Paloma would do that.” I had this experience of knowing her before I ever met her, which was so special, and meant more to me than anything that had to do with baby development.

In theory, I suppose it could have just been a reflex or a fluke. But I don’t think that was the case. Paloma continued to demonstrate her strong grasp -- and oh so many more baby milestones -- from day one. Once my husband and I saw her grab the stethoscope, we’d hold out our fingers for her baby hand to squeeze. It’s not quite holding hands, but it was a wonderful way for us to bond with our baby right from the start.

Photo by Aditya Romansa on Unsplash

There were a lot of things that people told me to try to help me prepare for my first baby. However, the one thing no one told me was how, in the midst of my most exhausting times, would come some of my favorite moments.

Like any new mom, it took a while for me to get into the swing of things. The exhaustion of nursing multiple times at night threw me off at first, but slowly it dawned on me -- those late-night feedings were actually moments I was coming to treasure with my baby. I would head into his nursery late at night when I heard him start to cry. In the darkness, I would come around the crib from where he couldn’t see me, and when he would finally see me, the biggest smile would come across his face.

Then I’d pick up my baby and nurse him, holding him tightly, just him and me. There are no interruptions, no distractions; it’s just the two of us, together. Something about the quiet of the night (once he stops crying!) is soothing to both of us. In those moments I feel so proud and blessed. I love having that quiet time to bond and reflect on how much he’s grown.

Another one of my favorite moments is sort of a double-edged sword for me. As a working mom, I miss my son so much when I’m not around him, and I look forward to coming home to him every day. The silver lining of my working, though, is that on those days when I’m away from home a long time, when I finally do come home, when I walk into the room and Rory sees me, he gives me the biggest smile. He looks at me as if he doesn’t want to close his eyes because he’s afraid if he does, I’d be gone again. It’s heartwarming to me that my baby is physically showing me how much he missed me. Whenever I come home after being away, I love to experience his reaction. Of course baby bath time and whenever he laughs are always favorite moments of mine, too, but there’s nothing like watching him try to learn something and reach new baby milestones. Recently he’s been grabbing his feet, and before that he learned how to transfer a toy or his pacifier between his hands.

He’s always so proud of himself when he can accomplish these things. Now he’ll grab his feet and look over at me to see if I was watching. I always clap, and he giggles, kicks his legs, and tries again. Those moments, to me, are priceless.

Whatever the moment is, I do my best to recognize and savor it. These are the amazing memories with my baby that I’ll keep with me forever.

Photo by Raul Angel on Unsplash