When I took on the best job of being a new mom, I hadn’t realized I had also hired myself for another job: baby paparazzo. In a baby’s first year, there are so many developmental baby milestones and heart-melting moments to be captured; a camera should be glued to a new mom’s hand. These milestones and memories, both major and more personal, were some of my favorites:

Smiling: When my daughter was a newborn, there were fleeting moments of a smile, typically preceded by a rumbling bottom. It was about 10 days before her 2-month “birthday” that sitting on my lap, with a big smile on my face trying to encourage her to do the same -- she followed suit and smiled at me. Cue: heart explosion.

Laughing: I wish I could say my new baby’s first laugh was caused by my outstanding sense of humor, but it was her grandfather who takes the prize. After hearing the sound of his laughter, my daughter made some giggles of her own.

Discovering hands and feet: Around the 4-month mark, while lying down, my baby slowly started bringing her hands together and examining them in front of her face. Two weeks later, she found her feet, which led to constant sock removal. The discovery of both is a picture worth taking.

Sitting up/playing by herself: At about 5 months old, while holding my daughter up in a sitting position, I slowly let go. She stayed upright, hunched over in tripod position. A few days later, I wanted to see if she could use this new talent to play by herself, and she was successful. I put a musical piano in front of her, and she pushed the keys (still hunched over), showing one of her first signs of independence. I had to snap that!

Eating solids: My daughter tried her first taste of gourmet rice cereal at 5 months. While most of it ended up on her bib, there is little that is cuter than a tiny face full of mush.

Cruising and pulling up: Around the 8-month mark, my daughter showed the first sign of wanting to walk, when she held onto her toy chest and pulled herself up to a stand. A week later, with the help of her activity table, she began slowly moving her feet -- only walking to her left. Eventually, she learned to walk right, and before I knew it, she would be across the room in a second.

Crawling: My baby was cruising like a rock star before she showed any interest in crawling. She would mostly lie on her belly, kicking her legs and arms like a frog swimming, while we placed her favorite toys just a bit out-of-reach. It wasn’t until she turned 11 months -- and a mere 2 weeks before she learned to walk -- that she decided to become mobile and crawl.

Waving: Hearing the song, "Open Shut Them," in a music class helped my daughter practice opening and closing her hands. At 10 months, she used that skill to do the motion in response to “bye bye” and “hi,” communicating her ever-increasing friendliness.

Clapping: Around 8 months, my daughter’s claps consisted of fist-bumping herself. We clapped and celebrated seemingly everything she did, so she learned pretty quickly through imitation. She began clapping for everything she did, particularly in response to “yay” and “hooray.” There is nothing like patting yourself on the back.

Walking: My daughter cruised for months before taking her first steps, but once she got it on her own, she took off and hasn’t stopped since! It took the comfort of seeing her parents across from each other, knowing we would be there to catch her when she fell.

Photo by yuri tasso on Unsplash

Labor with my second child was going great. I dilated to seven centimeters on my own, at home, without drugs, doing my Bradley breathing. When the pain got too intense, we drove to the hospital, where I braved more contractions in a warm birthing pool. “I feel like I’m ready to push!” I told the midwife. “So push,” she said. I did. I pushed hard. When the midwife checked me, she frowned. “You’re less effaced than you were an hour ago,” she said. “Your cervix is swelling. I think you need a break.”

That break turned into an epidural, and hours later, a C-section, which is the removal of the baby through an incision in the abdomen and uterine wall. I remember signing a consent form (sloppily, deliriously, hesitantly), and being wheeled into the operating room. A friend had warned me that should I have a C-section, my hands would be tied down during the procedure to prevent accidental contamination of the sterile field. Or accidental slugging of the anesthesiologist when the pain meds didn’t kick in fast enough, since the contractions were still coming hard and fast. I’m so glad I knew about the tying down in advance, so it didn’t freak me out (quite as much). A thousand hours later -- at least it felt that way -- my body was numb from the waist down, and the obstetric surgeons went to work. In less than an hour, I was holding my beautiful little girl in my arms.  

I don’t fault my daughter for having a giant head that wouldn’t fit through the regular channels, but surgery after 13 hours of labor wasn’t the fantasy birth I had in mind. Which brings me to my most important message to you: Abandon fantasy birth story scenarios all ye who enter the labor and delivery ward. Stuff happens -- your cervix may suddenly stop dilating, your baby’s heart rate may get slow, your placenta may start to separate from the uterine wall -- and all these things are completely within the range of normal birth story scenarios! Nothing your doctor or midwife hasn’t seen before.

Whether or not a C-section is part of your birth plan, rest assured that the birthing staff is acting in the best interests of you and your baby at all times. If you wake up on your delivery day with that in mind, your birth experience will not disappoint.

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

“They are so small!” I heard those words a lot during the first couple of months of my twin sons’ lives. I was nearing my 39^th week of pregnancy when my boys made their entrance into the world. While they weren’t premature babies (preterm labor occurs before the 37^th week), at 5 pounds and 2 ounces each, they were definitely on the small side. Here’s what I learned about having low birth weight babies.

My boys weren’t alone. One out of 12 babies born in the U.S. has low birth weight, which means they weigh less than 5 pounds and 8 ounces at birth. Low birth weight is common with multiples, because there’s less room in the womb for them to grow. With a singleton baby, fetal growth may be affected by a maternal health problem like high blood pressure or simply by mom’s small stature.

Low birth weight doesn’t necessarily mean high-risk. Lots of low birth weight babies (like my own) are born at full-term and are healthy. My sons didn’t spend any time in the hospital’s neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). In fact, they went home with me just a few days after their birth. Premature babies, on the other hand, almost always need to spend time in the NICU. Their lungs might not be fully developed, so doctors must make sure preemies can breathe and regulate their body temperatures on their own.

You may need more clothing. My new babies’ low body fat did make it harder for them to regulate their body temperatures. Since they were born during the winter, I had to make sure they were bundled up well when we ventured out. However, aside from the fact that my little ones needed to wear preemie-size diapers and clothing for a month or so, there really wasn’t anything premature about them.

Put safety first. Some low birth weight babies have problems eating and gaining weight. I worked with a lactation consultant to ensure my boys were champion nursers by the time we left the hospital. Six months later, their chicken legs were replaced with cuddly rolls. Smaller babies also have a harder time fighting off infections, so I made sure everyone washed their hands before holding them, and we steered clear of places like malls or restaurants where they could be exposed to cold and flu viruses. Of course, it’s important to take sensible health precautions with all infants, no matter their size.  

What my babies lacked in size, they made up for in personality. Now you’d never know that my two boisterous boys were born on the smaller side!

Photo by Solen Feyissa on Unsplash

As a new mom, I’d love nothing more than to keep a camera on my baby at all times so as to never miss anything new that he does -- ever.

Of course, that’s not reasonable. But I do want to make sure I snap as many of those adorable moments as I can. Now that my husband and I are a couple months into this parenting thing, I think I can safely say we’ve determined which newborn photos we just can't do without.

Once you've got the photos or digital snapshots, you can use them to create books of memories. The is a great way to document the first year of your baby’s life and a nice treat for friends and family, too.

Here are a few of my favorite, not-to-be-missed newborn photo opportunities:

The "Firsts" Shots: Of course you can’t always predict when a "first" will happen. But some important firsts are under your control -- such as the first tub bath, or the first time your baby tries a new food -- and for those, you can arrange to have a digital camera or phone on hand to document the baby milestone moment. The first smile is another great milestone to capture, if you can. On our first road trip to see family that lives far away, we were sure to snap a newborn photo of our son, all bundled up and snug in his car seat. That’s definitely a memory we wouldn’t want to forget.

The Personality Shots: The more your baby grows, the more he'll begin to reveal his personality. Anything your child does that you feel is just so fundamentally him -- that’s probably something you’d like to get a shot of. For example, my husband was a serious baby, and there are many photos of him with this great look of concentration on his face. Now my son makes the same faces! Whenever he does, I try to snap him in action so we’ll always have that memory.

The Sleep Shots: You can’t go wrong with shots of your sleepy baby snoozing next to Mom or Dad. Whenever my husband and our son fall asleep in the chair together, I never pass up an opportunity to snap that adorable newborn photo!

The "Is That Me?" Shot: As any new parent will attest, one of the cutest newborn photos is probably one of your baby checking himself out in a mirror. Babies are fascinated with faces, including their own, and mirrors make great toys for them. We were lucky to be able to snap a photo of our son’s car seat mirror while he was busy staring at himself. If that’s not fancy camerawork, I don’t know what is!

Photo by Ciprian Sam on Unsplash

When my husband and I began trying for a second child, I wondered how it would be to have two girls, or a girl and a boy. For both of my pregnancies, we had chosen not to find out the gender ahead of time, which meant I could play out all kinds of scenarios in my head!

As it turned out, we had our Nina first, and then Eli, our son, came along second. Our daughter was, and is, a bright and beautiful girl with a wonderful outlook on life and the world around her. She has such a big presence, though, that we wondered if our second child would feel overshadowed.

For us, having a child of the opposite gender ensured that, in at least one sense, our second baby would stand out. Our son has ended up being just as amazing as our daughter, in ways that are both similar and different, but you never know how things will end up until that second child actually arrives.

While I always knew that having two kids of the same gender didn’t guarantee a close relationship, I did worry that our daughter and son might not be as close as they may have been if they were both boys or both girls. Today our kids couldn’t be closer, and I think that has to do with how we raised them. We did a lot of things with our daughter that some might consider stereotypically “male” in character, like washing the car and working on home projects. Now we all participate in these activities, as one big family.

In our house, we try to stay as gender neutral as possible -- I always say that anyone can do anything. My son puts on dance shows for us, and my daughter plays superheroes. It’s really interesting to see them both take part in each other’s interests.

Any worries that I might have had when our second child turned out to be a different gender from our first were quickly washed away. Our kids get to learn so much about the opposite gender from each other, and that's wonderful. My hope is that this insight will translate into great relationships with other kids, and then eventually with other adults of the opposite gender, as they grow up.

Photo by Garrett Jackson on Unsplash