As soon as our families and friends found out my wife and I were expecting two bundles of joy, the planning of baby showers began. Throughout all of the showers (we had four!), we were blessed with various gifts that were great not only for our daughters, but also for the new mom and new dad. 

A few specifically, though, stuck out as ones that would really help me in my newfound fatherhood.

An Awesome Book
Books that help new dads prep for their babies are a great gift idea; the books are useful before the baby arrives, as well as afterwards as a point of reference. When we were waiting for our twins to be born, we were given one in particular that really helped us get ready to have two new little ones in our house.

An Extra Loud Alarm Clock
I got this gift at one of our first showers, and it was supposed to simulate a baby crying in the night. Since I’m such a deep sleeper, I wasn’t sure it would work on me. However, once the alarm went off, I shot right out of bed. This was an extremely beneficial new dad gift during the early weeks and months that the girls were not sleeping through the night.

A Mini Video Camera

We got this gift at a shower, and we used it to chronicle my wife’s pregnancy, as well as our time in the hospital and all of the special moments since. What we love about our specific camera is that it’s small enough to fit in our pockets, and it can be quickly plugged into a computer to upload videos. What’s even better is that, as a new dad, all I want to do is share these great memories with our daughters throughout the years with friends and family, and now, we can do that.

The Gift of Advice
I think this can be said for parents of multiples or singletons: You have to find what works for your family. Regardless of what all the “expert” books say, you have to find a system that is right for your house. Factors like the number of hours worked by the parent(s), available babysitters, and other daily tasks can impact whether or not your baby or babies need to be on a set schedule. Some helpful new dad advice I received from other parents of multiples included feeding both babies at night, even when only one of them woke up originally. In terms of toys and swings and walkers, we didn’t necessarily need two of every item. Instead, we were advised to wait to see if both babies enjoyed the toy before buying two. Practical advice from a been-there-done-that dad is one of the best new dad gifts you can give.

Photo by Aleksandra Rupar on Unsplash

Learning how to change a diaper isn't rocket science, but there are a few tricks to making the process a bit easier. Believe it or not, if all the stars align, a diaper change can even be a sweet bonding moment. Until, of course, you realize you've got a smear of poo on your forehead. Here are some tricks I’ve picked up as a new mom:

Tip #1: Gather everything you need, such as a clean diaper, plenty of wipes, and a towel or changing pad to keep the floor from getting dirty. And yes, I said "the floor!" I find it's easier to sit on the floor and change my son. This way, I don't have to worry about him rolling off a changing table.

Tip #2: Tell your baby what you're going to do. Even a newborn can start to learn cues. Say, "I'm going to change your diaper now. Please hold still." Show your baby the clean Pampers diaper. My son responds better to diaper changes when I approach it this way,as opposed to suddenly removing him from fun time and stripping him naked without a word -- how jarring!

Tip #3: Check down the back for poop. The worst thing is being 'surprised' by a really dirty diaper.

Tip #4: Although you're concentrating on the task at hand, it really helps if you can simultaneously distract your baby with a toy, a song, or (as they get older) a request, such as, "Can you sing me the ABCs?"

Tip #5: If it's a poopy diaper, use the front inside to do the initial wipe instead of a disposable wipe. This technique cleans up most the mess in one swoop. Put the dirty diaper out of your baby's reach. As you use disposable wipes to clean up any remaining poop, put the wipes in the center of the dirty diaper. When you're all done with the change, roll up the dirty diaper and wipes, and then affix the tabs across the front to make a ball. This traps all the waste inside and will keep your diaper pail smelling decent for longer.

Tip #6: When boys are little, they may pee as a reflex when their penis is exposed to the air. Prevent this -- or at least, prevent a huge mess -- by putting a washcloth over the penis after you prepare the clean Pampers diaper. Girls should be wiped from front to back to prevent the transfer of fecal matter into their vaginas.

Learning how to change a diaper can be a challenge. To become a diaper-changing pro, just remember: Practice makes perfect!

Photo by Marcin Jozwiak on Unsplash

Between feedings, burping, rocking, and napping, what new mom has time to think about the size of her baby’s diaper? Grabbing a few boxes from the grocery store shelf as you zoom home before a meltdown may seem like the easiest thing to do, but with two daughters, I quickly learned that a baby diaper that doesn’t fit is no fun for you -- or for your new baby. There’s more to diaper size than you may realize. Here are my tips and tricks for knowing if your new baby has the right diaper on, and when to move to a larger one.

Pay attention to the red mark. If my new baby had a reddish line across her belly or around her pudgy thighs, I knew that she was probably swaddled in a diaper that was too tight or too small. Once she was on the move, I looked out for signs of chafing, an indication that her baby diaper didn’t fit quite right.

Watch for fussy signals. Some little ones fuss when their clothes or undergarments don’t fit well. If your new baby is in a funk, check her baby diaper. It could be because the wrong size is making her uncomfortable. Try going up or down a size to see if she calms down.

Look for a leak. A too-small diaper can be prone to leaking. When I noticed that my new baby’s diaper wasn’t keeping wetness contained, it was a sign to choose a larger size. Also, if the baby diaper slipped down on her tummy or didn’t cover her buttocks completely, I knew it was too small.

Avoid the dreaded blowout. It was my (and probably every new mom’s) worst fear -- poop all over your new baby’s body, clothes, hair, and probably also on you. If a baby diaper doesn’t fit well, it won’t be able to contain her bowel movements. The fix? Go up a size.

Don’t buy too much at once. You may think it pays to stock up on baby diapers, but because babies grow so quickly, you may end up with many unused diapers. Buy only what you need, and if you do end up with a surplus of small diapers, reach out to other new moms and trade your smaller sizes for some that are larger.

Believe me: It’s worth the time to check up on diaper size. Knowing how to properly fit my daughter’s Pampers diapers made for a much less messy parenting experience!

Photo by Walaa Khaleel on Unsplash

Learning you are carrying a twin pregnancy can bring on such a wave of emotions, including the worry that you’ll deliver early. I learned that the average twin pregnancy lasts about 35 weeks, with 38 weeks considered full term. Still, my doctor told me early on she had every reason to believe I could carry to 38 weeks.

Around 27 weeks, I started getting contractions and was already a little dilated. I was placed on bed rest with a home monitoring system to track my contractions twice a day. My doctor told me I might make it to 34 weeks and to expect that my babies would most likely be preemies. My partner and I toured the NICU before I got put on bed rest, so we were prepared in case I delivered early. With the incubators, tiny premature babies, and lots of beeping, the NICU can be overwhelming.

Around 30 weeks, I spent a night in the hospital where I was given steroids to help the babies’ lungs develop and a variety of medications to stop my contractions -- thankfully labor was held off until 34 weeks and beautiful babies were born. My girls weighed around five pounds each. The weeks leading up to their birth were emotional, and I was thrilled that now they were healthy and here with me.

One of the hardest things about an early delivery for me was not being able to hold my daughters right away. I delivered the girls just before 7:00 p.m. but didn’t get to see them in the NICU until almost midnight—except for one quick glance as they were wheeled past me in their incubators). I didn’t get to hold Brooklyn until the second day, and we had to wait until the third day to hold Bailey.

Both girls had breathing masks, feeding tubes, and IVs at first, but they were strong babies and did so well. Each day they made improvements by learning to eat, maintaining their body temperature, and putting on weight. As a new mom, I was so proud and excited when they achieved each milestone; it meant they were closer to coming home. When seeing your little one in the NICU, remember: It is the best place for your child, because they are receiving the medical care they need. Take advantage of the time to learn how to care for your premature baby and ask the nurses all of your questions – the time will fly by! After 11 days, we were able to welcome our girls home!

Photo by Xavier Mouton Photographie on Unsplash

Baby sign language saved our sanity. Sadie’s basic needs were shrouded in mystery until we taught her a dozen or so hand signals that are part of baby signing -- a system based on American Sign Language, only designed for hearing tots --. Was she hot? Cold? Hungry? Tired? Who knew? Maybe Sadie herself didn’t even know. All she did was cry. (And so did we.)

Baby signing, which has been around for dozens of years, takes advantage of the fact that hand-eye coordination develops before verbal skills. Picture the baby who can wave “hello” but can’t yet say, “I need a cookie, please!” While babies may utter their very first words around 11 months, they have cognitive skills beginning around 6 months and can use hand gestures to communicate. Sadie came late to talking, forming her first word (“duck”) at 18 months, so we got a lot of mileage out of those baby signs.

Signing “eat” (with all fingers together tapping lips) told us Sadie was hungry. Tapping a finger on an open palm meant “more, please.” Brushing palms up and down meant “all done.” Are you sensing a theme here? Sadie also tipped an imaginary glass to show she was thirsty, did “hoo hoo” (two staccato exhales) to say her bath water was too hot, and placed her hands together by her head to say she was sleepy.

As a fringe benefit, communicating helped put Sadie more in touch with her needs and wants, and gave her a role in getting them met. She grew more confident in her ability to communicate and also more trusting of us—because we were finally meeting her needs instead of frantically trying every trick in the book to no avail.

There are some 600 baby signs, including for “Mommy,” “Daddy,” “diaper,” “cat,” “dog,” “cookie,” and more. If you’re inclined to use them with your infant, you’ll find that books, flashcards, dictionaries and wall charts are helpful, but don’t feel like you have to become a pro to derive a benefit.

Experiment with a few baby signs and see how it goes. At the very least, you’ll have fun -- and maybe even learn a few of the thoughts stirring inside that cute, little head.

Photo by zelle duda on Unsplash