I come from a big family -- six kids, all pretty closely spaced together. So when my husband and I decided to have our second child, I knew I wanted a small age gap. This way my kids would grow up together the way my siblings and I had. Family and friends shared that it would be difficult to be taking care of a baby while raising a terrible 2-year-old. However, I found having my terrific two sons close in age to be as beneficial in the short-term as I know it will be in the long run.

I had experienced raising a newborn before -- and not that long ago -- so I felt better prepared with our second child. I remember the first time we -- including ER doctor Dad -- saw blood appear on our first baby, we rushed unnecessarily to urgent care. Nothing -- not medical school, not the baby books -- could prepare us for parenthood the way our first go as parents did.

That’s not to say things were easy -- far from it! The number of diapers we went through on any given day never ceased to amaze us. And the amount of supplies I needed to get out the door doubled -- there was so much to carry; I always looked headed on vacation! While one son was trying out “no” in louder volumes, the other was trying out his new squirming muscles during a change. Having siblings close in age can definitely be a ton of work!

Sharing our time amongst our two boys can be difficult at times. For example, we rain-checked potty-training, so our older son only uses the potty occasionally. But now, whenever he does, nothing beats the look of absolute pride and importance on his face he when we ask him to show his little brother how to do it. We were worried our first son would feel neglected or, worse, replaced. But it turned out -- to our unexpected joy -- that we were replaced. While Daddy was used to getting second chair to mommy, it was big brother now who got hugged first and could do no wrong.

Our grander parenting plans are sometimes put on hold, but I feel our mantra and for other families who have their first and second baby close in age should be “short-term sacrifices lead to long-term benefits.”

Photo by Alexander Dummer on Unsplash

With my second child on the way, I decided I had the "Mom thing" down: Thanks to my firstborn, Isabel, I was already primed on all the baby tasks I needed to know, from how to successfully breastfeed to how to quiet a sobbing infant. Of course, all of this confidence quickly eroded when my second child, Fiona, was born. As a stay-at-home mom, I was left overwhelmed by the diapers and potty training, the nursing and toddler tantrums, not to mention the ever-changing nap schedule. But while having two kids meant double the work, it also meant double the fun. By following this advice, I survived -- and thrived:

Let it slide. With two small children scampering around your house, you can say goodbye to clean floors. And that’s okay! Your home should be safe for your babies to play in, but it doesn’t need to be spotless. Mine certainly wasn’t! With two tiny tots, cleaning (along with other tasks, such as cooking) definitely took a back seat.

Take group naps. After trying to juggle different nap times, I decided to rearrange our schedule so that their nap times coincided. I also tried to grab a few zzz’s when both girls were sleeping. Their napping schedules didn’t always match up perfectly, but even if my second baby’s nap was short-lived, at least her big sister got some much-needed rest, which greatly improved her mood later in the day.

Enlist a mother’s helper. Sure, it would be great to have a teen from down the street come in a few days a week to help out with the little ones, but if that’s not an option, look to your oldest! When my hands were full with Fiona, I was lucky enough to recruit Isabel to help me with little tasks during the day. As a 2.5-year-old, she was able to fetch diapers, put toys in a basket, and even sing a lullaby to her new baby sister.

Draw the line. As a stay-at-home mom of two, my energy was limited. Having two little ones emboldened me to say “no” to requests, visits, and other demands that I usually might have agreed to. The truth is, I didn’t have time to volunteer the way I did when Isabel was born and I didn’t have the stamina to entertain as many friends as before. And I’ve learned that there is nothing wrong with that. Staying at home with my girls was my reward -- one I wouldn’t trade.

You can expect the first few months of having two children at home to be a bit hectic. But once you settle into a schedule, you’ll find that being a stay-at-home mom for more than one child is more fun than you had imagined!

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Nine months pregnant in the heat of the summer? That’s what I was facing as June turned into July. How was I going to distract myself for the next month, waiting for my little one to arrive? Luckily, I didn’t have to worry about that -- and I never did have to wear that maternity bathing suit, thank goodness -- because our daughter was a surprise delivery, arriving four weeks early!

My husband and I had gone to a regularly scheduled doctor’s appointment, and the ob-gyn joked that it wasn’t too late for us to go on a “babymoon” since she was certain I wouldn’t deliver for at least another week. I laughed off the comment, but before we were even in the car my husband was looking up flights!

It’s a good thing my rational side won out because three days later I started having contractions. I was convinced I was having Braxton Hicks contractions, since my due date was still a month away. I hadn’t even had the conversation with my doctor yet about how to time contractions or when to go to the hospital. So there I was, at 1 a.m., searching the Internet for advice on early deliveries and what I should do next -- with my husband sleeping soundly beside me despite the fact that I was grabbing his arm in pain every 10 minutes. 

The contractions became stronger and more regular. Not wanting to overreact, I waited as long as I could, but called the doctor when my contractions were five minutes apart. She said to come to the hospital. It was at that precise moment that my husband decided he needed to take a shower. Thoughts of my baby arriving in a fast food parking lot en route to the hospital flooded my mind!

After arriving at the hospital, we were surprised to hear that we were sure to have a baby that day! There wasn’t much time to dwell on how we weren’t ready or what we still needed to buy because before we knew it, I was ready to deliver.  After only a few pushes our daughter was born!  Although she was a surprise delivery at four weeks early, she had a healthy weight and didn’t have to spend any extra time in the hospital … and I could spend that month of July cuddling my baby instead of wearing maternity clothes!

Bottles, bibs, booties, baby monitor -- yes, it takes some work and lots of supplies to prepare for motherhood! That’s why most new moms could do with a little assistance. When I was expecting, everything from hand-me-down clothing to help setting up a crib was much appreciated. Of course, it can be hard to know what a particular new mom needs. When in doubt, any of these thoughtful gifts for new moms are a safe bet!

Something tasty: Whether lasagna or lamb chops, a home-cooked meal will be welcome. Late in pregnancy, an expectant mom is just plain tired. I could barely move during my last month pregnant with my firstborn, Isabel, and definitely had no energy to cook! Take pity on your pregnant pal and make her a pasta dish or chicken potpie.

A gift card: A gift card to a spa, nail salon, or the hairdresser is the perfect get-ready-for-baby present. Again, fatigue is a factor (I was too tired to brush my hair, let alone wash and blow dry it), but so is sheer size. At 9 months along, I couldn’t see my toes to paint them, so an hour being pampered in someone else’s hands was absolute bliss. New moms won’t have much time to escape once their baby arrives, so now’s the perfect time to spoil them.

Simple baby gifts: It may seem boring to give a gift like burp cloths or swaddling blankets, but these are exactly the new mom gifts I needed most. New babies are messy little creatures who tend to spit up and dribble milk, so consider picking out some simple but useful cloths and blankets. Bonus: They are usually very affordable, too!

Baby clothes in a bigger size: Those teeny newborn jeans, tops, and dresses are adorable, but your baby will grow out of them pretty quickly. I received so many 0- to 3-month outfits for my baby that I changed Isabel’s clothes several times a day to get use out of all of them! Buy the next size up for your new mom friend -- she will thank you.

Remember that many new moms prefer to pick out their own gear, especially when it comes to big-ticket items like stroller or car seats, so leave those items on the store shelf. Your gift doesn’t need to be costly -- or even cost a penny -- to make a big difference in a pregnant woman’s life. And if you're stumped on what to get, ask her what she needs the most!

Photo by Camille Brodard ~ Kmile Feminine Creative Designer on Unsplash

A popping sensation woke me up, and as soon as I stood up, there was no denying that my water had broken. Once I cleaned up the mess, I reached for my natural childbirth course notes. My husband and I took a twelve-week class to get ready for childbirth, and the course helped prepare us for what would come -- emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Even though I was a first-time new mom, I felt a deep sense of calm. I felt like I had the knowledge and tools to succeed at my goal of a natural childbirth. I peacefully labored at home for a few hours. I even did the dishes before we left! But the contractions -- and pain -- got worse on the drive to the hospital. Taking slow, deep breaths and repeating a positive mantra helped a lot.

My hospital room had a big tub. Although I was initially hesitant to get into the water, it helped relieve the pain of the natural birth experience so much. My husband also firmly rubbed my lower back, which helped alleviate the tightening sensations. In between contractions, I thought about my body’s progress; I visualized my cervix opening and the baby moving down. I was in the tub for a few hours, and by 3:00 p.m., my midwife wanted me to get out so she could check my progress.

It’s really true -- you will suddenly feel an undeniable urge to push when you’re ready. I pushed for three hours, which isn’t a long time, but it’s certainly getting up there! My energy was waning, and my midwife decided an episiotomy (a surgical incision on the outside of the vagina) would help the baby get out. I’m so glad we took childbirth classes because it helped us make an educated decision. I got the episiotomy, and my baby -- who I discovered was a boy! -- was born two pushes later.

Henry was born a little after 7:30 p.m. He was alert, and his breathing and color were great. Although I was exhausted by the grueling physical process of labor, I was able to really live in the moment. It was incredible, and I will never forget those first few minutes of Henry’s life.

Having a natural birth was a very empowering experience. A woman’s body is truly amazing. It’s undeniable that natural childbirth hurts…but I wouldn’t change a thing, and I plan to do it again for our next baby!

Photo by Ava Sol on Unsplash