When I became a father for the second time, I was more confident, less anxious -- but definitely not any less excited. I love having two boys to play with and think they’re the best buds ever. Having two kids has changed my life, and not only my day-to-day duties, but also my overall wants and needs.

While it would be nice to have two me’s to get twice as much done, here are a few realistic gifts for a dads with two kids or more:

Photos: The first baby tends to be the parental-paparazzi magnet. With two kids, I find myself changing diapers more often than reaching for a camera. And now I’m missing twice the firsts, funny faces, and smiles while away at work. Pictures and videos keep me connected to my boys, and are also something I can hold onto for when the boys grow up -- a gift that keeps giving.

Babysitting time: One of the best gifts I ever received was a weekend from my mother-in-law. She took the boys, and I took my wife camping. With two young boys, life has become all about routine. Breaking that routine and spending quality time with my wife is one of the best gifts a dad can ask for.

If your children are anything like my boys, watching the kids for a weekend is a large commitment. But even just a night or a few hours of babysitting is great. Finding a sitter can be tough. And last minute dinner plans don’t tend to work out for second-time dads. Offering to babysit not only saves us the hassle of finding a sitter, it also reminds us to take some time for ourselves.  

Toys and games for all: It’s always amazing watching the boys play, but even more so with others. Toys and games that we can all play together would be a great gift. With my boys, playing tends to be less about the rules and more about what can you throw, imagine, and build. Soft toys we can throw around the yard, big floor puzzles, and other all-inclusive toys and games would make great gifts for dads who now have two buddies to play with.

Video streaming subscription: Getting two boys to sit still isn’t the easiest task in the world -- especially when there are toy cars to be driven! My wife and I always have a movie or TV show at the ready when we need the boys to be in a calmer state, like when we need to get the laundry done. A little video distraction (and a variety a subscription offers) can help a second-time parent get small tasks done. And it’s nice to watch the shows with our kids sometimes, too!

Any father would be lucky to be gifted with one of these dad-approved ideas, that being said, the best gift of all has been being able to be a dad to my boys!

I had always imagined myself working in an office even after I became a father. I could see myself coming home and having the old-fashioned sort of life.

However, after I became a part of my first startup in 2003, I started to look at things differently. I began thinking about staying home, being a father first while maybe running a little business out of the house, spending as much time with my kids and wife as I wanted.

Lucky for me, the job market helped me make my decision. When I graduated from law school, I was already a new dad, as my wife and I already had 8-month-old twin babies at home. We felt isolated where we were living in Akron, and we wanted to move closer to family, so we planned on moving back to St. Louis, MO. I even took the bar there and passed, but with the economy the way it was, it was hard for me to find a job in St. Louis. Plus, my wife already had a good job in Akron, so we ended up staying.

I’ve continued looking for work, but an opportunity has not presented itself for me -- at least not one that can beat my current gig: SAHD. As a stay-at-home dad, I rarely have a day that I would consider average. My babies are my alarm clock. Most days my wife leaves for work before our two girls are up. I get them up, make breakfast, and then try to do a little work on the businesses, all while still entertaining 2-year-olds. We work on our numbers and ABCs, and generally try and have some fun. I’ve started two companies from home as an attempt to find a way to contribute to the household finances, but my priorities are my girls.

The ability to spend time with my girls this way is something I never thought I would have the chance to do as a new dad, and it is the most rewarding experience of my life. As with anything new, though, there are trade-offs. The reversed roles of my family, and the fact that I had more of a traditional upbringing, have taken a lot of getting used to, and a lot of pride swallowing. It is not always easy, but I have always told myself that nothing worth having comes easy.

While trying to balance and redefine my role as a stay-at-home dad, I’ve had the opportunity to watch my girls grow and develop into little people. I love playing with them, and I enjoy their company. As a young physician, my father worked 36 hours straight, had a short time off, and then went right back to work. I saw him for fleeting moments when I was little, and never really had the chance to spend any time with him; something both he and I wish had been different. The fact that I get to spend almost every waking moment with my daughters is an amazing opportunity. Regardless of the frustrations, time constraints, and other events, it’s something I relish every day.

Photo by Andriyko Podilnyk on Unsplash