As a soon-to-be new mom, you know there are many beautiful parts of pregnancy -- and others that you could probably live without. High on that unwanted list is often urinary incontinence, or pelvic floor problems.

Urinary incontinence occurs when a person is no longer able to hold urine in the urethra, causing leaks from time to time. This problem is common among pregnant women and new moms, since unborn babies push down on the bladder, urethra, and pelvic floor muscles, weakening support and causing leaks. Labor then further complicates the issue by additionally weakening pelvic floor support, and potentially even damaging the nerves that control the bladder.

Luckily, Kegel exercises have been proven to help strengthen pelvic floor muscles. (Keep in mind that most bladder or urinary tract issues caused by pregnancy and delivery go away within six months of giving birth. If yours don’t, see your doctor for additional treatment or help.) If you’re ready to start strengthening, follow these tips:

1.    Identify your pelvic muscles. In order to get the most out of the exercises, begin by identifying the correct muscles. To do this, try stopping your urination midstream. The muscles that you use to stop the flow are the same ones you’ll want to work in your Kegel exercises.

2.    Get comfortable. Before starting the exercise, be sure your bladder is empty, and find a comfortable place where you can lie on your back. Then, tighten your pelvic floor muscles, holding the contraction for five seconds. Repeat this tightening and releasing in five-second increments four or five times in a row. For best results, try working up to exercises where you are able to hold the muscles for 10 seconds at a time, and then relax for 10 seconds at a time.

3.    Practice makes perfect. One Kegel exercise session won’t be enough to help. For optimal results, try to perform 10 repetitions at least three times a day.

Don’t worry if it takes a while to get used to the exercises -- that’s perfectly normal. Just don’t give up. If you continue with the exercises on a routine basis, you may see results within just a few months of starting. And one less thing to worry about as a new mom is always welcome when you have a newborn!

Most new moms-to-be can’t wait for the moment they first see their baby on an ultrasound screen. It’s likely you’ll leave your doctor’s appointment eager to discuss the fingers and toes you spotted on the screen or what position your baby was in with friends, family, and anyone who will listen. But before you go in for your first ultrasound, it’s helpful to know what to expect.

Ultrasound basics

During an exam, your health care provider or an ultrasound technician (also called a sonographer) moves a transducer -- a device that produces high frequency sound waves -- across your stomach to see inside your abdomen. This produces an image of the fetus, called a sonogram. The image can be saved, printed, and taken home as a memento of your new baby. Ultrasound techology is a safe way for health care providers to monitor the health and safety of your baby and can help determine the due date along with information such as your fetus’s age, gender, expected weight, and potential birth defects.

Safety first

You can feel confident going to your ultrasound exam knowing that the procedure is considered very safe. However, because the long-term effects of multiple ultrasounds aren’t fully known, it’s not recommended that you get an ultrasound for nonmedical reasons. For this reason, steer clear of places that give 3-D ultrasounds, which offer keepsake images but provide no medical benefit.

When to go

Ultrasounds can be performed any time during a pregnancy. However, it’s common to have one in the first trimester to determine your due date, and then another in the second trimester (between 18 and 20 weeks) to get a better look at your developing baby and determine the sex of your child. If your doctor wants to carefully monitor your pregnancy for any reason, you may need to come in for more ultrasounds during the third trimester. Finally, towards the end of your pregnancy, your health care provider may also do an ultrasound to determine the position of your baby.

What to expect

In order to get a good picture, it’s important to have a full bladder, so your doctor may ask you to drink a few glasses of water before coming in for your appointment. Otherwise, you don’t need to do anything to prepare for your ultrasound -- aside from getting excited to see your new baby!

If you have any questions about the ultrasound process or your baby's development, just ask. And enjoy poring over those incredible pictures of your new baby!

Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

A baby was the furthest thing from our minds. We had just moved into a new apartment, and I was trying to get a promotion at work. We figured we’d have children one day, but not anytime soon.

We had a vacation planned shortly after the move. One day, when we were away,  I noticed my breasts were, well, huge! But I didn’t think much of it. That should have been my first clue.

A second clue came -- or didn’t come -- a few days later. I was supposed to get my period while we were away, but it never happened. “Don’t worry,” Ryan told me. “You’re just stressed out. It’ll come.”

I spent the next few weeks waiting for my period and searching online for explanations. I wasn’t even thinking about pregnancy. Unfortunately, the other possible causes made me more and more anxious and seemed much scarier than becoming a new mom. I finally scheduled an appointment with my doctor.

Ryan was sick the day of my appointment, so he couldn’t join me. I kept trying to reassure myself the whole time while traveling to the office, waiting in reception, and sitting in the doctor’s office after I peed in a cup. So, I was a little on edge when the nurse knocked on the door -- and even more on edge when dropped the supplies she was holding as she walked in.

As she picked up her instruments, she said, “Honey, you’re pregnant!”

“Excuse me?!”

“You’re very pregnant,” she repeated matter-of-factly.

I shouldn’t have been shocked, but I was. I spent the trip home panicking about how this would change our lives, what it would mean for my promotion -- and what in the world Ryan would say about becoming a new dad.

As soon as I walked in the door, I blurted it out: “Ryan, I’m pregnant.” Now, he was both sick and stunned. He looked at me, said, “OK,” and went right back to bed.

It took him about a week to process the news. I tried to let him adjust to this change on his own time, but of course, I couldn’t help but watch him a little more closely. He spent a lot of time online researching pregnancy and fatherhood. And I could swear he developed a slight sweating issue.

As we both got used to the idea, we became more and more excited. “I always knew we would have children,” Ryan told me. “It’s just a lot earlier than we expected.”

We’ve had to make a lot of changes since our daughter, Ava, was born, including moving from that one-bedroom apartment to a house and giving up the weekends we used to have to ourselves. But Ava is our angel and has brought new meaning to our lives. We wouldn’t have it any other way!

Photo by Meryl Spadaro on Unsplash

We had three pregnancy announcements to break the news to our families, and we opted to announce it each time in a fun and different way!

When trying to decide how to tell your parents you’re pregnant, you may feel overwhelmed with all the ways you could surprise them. It was fun to have separate reveals, starting with my dad. At the time, my father lived in California, so we simply video-chatted him and said, “We have something to tell you!” He guessed right away. It was awesome to announce it to him through video chat, because we got to see his expression!

My mother lives about four hours from us, so we asked if she’d like to meet us halfway for dinner. We arrived at the restaurant before she did, and I clued the waitress in on our plan. The waitress rolled my mom’s silverware up in a white onesie instead of a napkin. When my mom arrived, I offered her the ‘best seat’ at the table. We waited on pins and needles for our appetizers to arrive, and when the food came, she unrolled her fork and knife…only to discover the baby outfit!  She was so surprised and shocked that she just held it up, staring at it. Finally, I said, “Mom! I’m pregnant!” and she started to cry, overjoyed at the thought of our new addition to the family.

My in-laws live nearby, so we went over for dinner. My husband brought in his mother’s ‘special gift’ -- a huge (and I do mean HUGE!) box, all wrapped up with pretty paper and bows. My mother-in-law kept saying, “What is this? It’s not a holiday or my birthday!” When she opened it up, a bunch of pink and blue balloons came flying out! Like my mother, she was so surprised that she was rendered speechless. After my husband finally explained the news, she said, “Wait! I have a gift for you, too!” and ran upstairs. She brought down a teddy bear and explained that she’d been saving it for the very day we would make our pregnancy announcement!  

Two years later, the teddy bear is one of Henry’s favorite toys. I love watching him play with it, as it always reminds me of the creative ways we announced our happy news.

Photo by Mayur Gala on Unsplash

The mental note-to-self during labor with my first child went something like this: You definitely don't want to do this again. Three kids later, it's obvious that I did not listen to my own advice. I guess it's true that the joy of having a child far outweighs the discomforts of pregnancy and childbirth. But even beyond that, I have to admit that giving birth was easier the second and third time around. For those of you who may be wondering if that means less pain, in my case it did. But before I jump into that part of the story, I'd just like to say that my subsequent labor and deliveries were better. Much better -- and here's why: 

My symptoms did not change. My attitude did. For instance, I experienced just as much nausea during my second pregnancy and my third, as I did with the first. In fact, nearly everything about the subsequent pregnancies and the deliveries was identical. What changed was how I handled it mentally. Knowing what to expect made it easier to prepare both physically and mentally, and it eliminated the surprise factor, which in turn, made it easier to cope.

My accommodations were new and improved. My three children each have nearly five years between them. As you might imagine, medical technology changes rapidly during that time period, although I suspect you don't have to wait five years for that to occur. Likewise, hospital birthing rooms took on a new and improved look. The transformation from cold operating room to warmly decorated bedroom-like surroundings was a welcome change indeed.

My subsequent deliveries were faster -- much faster. My first birth was somewhat complicated by the fact that my daughter was in posterior position (the back of the baby's head is against the mothers' back). In spite of this complication, I managed to evade both a C-section and the forceps, but it definitely slowed the process. On the other hand, her brothers came into this world in a hurry, sans posterior problems and all. While I know that subsequent births are not always quicker than first births, it was a welcome truth in my case.

My confidence emerged. Just like anything you've done before, a successful experience generates confidence. With one labor and delivery already on my mommy résumé, I had more confidence with the second pregnancy. Experience taught me what worked well and what didn't, and that's a far cry from the fear of the unknown that accompanies any first birth.

While it's certainly true that no two birth stories are ever the same, most mothers are more physically and mentally prepared the second -- and third -- time around. I certainly was, and it made all the difference!

Photo by John Looy on Unsplash