My daughter Paloma’s first hours on earth were obviously filled with a lot of baby milestones. First breath, first cry, first feeding.

But I never anticipated that her first hand-grasp would come less than an hour after she was born.

Yet, when the nurse went to listen to her heartbeat, Paloma reached out and grabbed onto the stethoscope with her baby hand, refusing to let go. The nurse was surprised not only at our new baby’s hand-eye coordination, but at the strength of Paloma’s grasp. Turns out, her first baby milestones were coming fast and swift!

The nurse went on to tell us that Paloma’s firm grip -- one of the first steps in her long list of growing baby developments -- was a sign of her intelligence. Looking back, I’m guessing she probably says that about every newborn, but at that moment, my husband and I absolutely believed her. Whatever nice thing someone says about your baby right after she’s born, you are 100 percent the proud parent.

But for me, that hand-grasp was more than just a baby milestone; it’s a moment I remember, because it really showed Paloma’s personality -- a personality that, as a mother, I had already experienced. Even in utero, I felt that she was a really feisty baby. She was very stubborn and very aware of what she wanted. Her strong baby hand grabbing the stethoscope was the perfect illustration of that: Paloma was not just going to lie there helplessly while someone put a cold, metal stethoscope on her chest. She stopped it. Even though she was brand new to this world, I remember thinking “of course Paloma would do that.” I had this experience of knowing her before I ever met her, which was so special, and meant more to me than anything that had to do with baby development.

In theory, I suppose it could have just been a reflex or a fluke. But I don’t think that was the case. Paloma continued to demonstrate her strong grasp -- and oh so many more baby milestones -- from day one. Once my husband and I saw her grab the stethoscope, we’d hold out our fingers for her baby hand to squeeze. It’s not quite holding hands, but it was a wonderful way for us to bond with our baby right from the start.

Photo by Aditya Romansa on Unsplash

When my baby was born, the midwife placed him immediately on my chest. I looked down at my squirming, crying child and waited for my husband to say, "It's a boy!" His announcement wasn't just for show; we had decided to wait to find out our baby's sex until birth.

Waiting was a great decision, but it did add a layer of complexity to picking out a baby name. It seemed so hard to come up with a name when we didn't know the most basic thing about our child. Plus, I have some weird ‘quirks’ about baby names.

I despise unique names, as well as names that are commonly made into nicknames. I also have a rule that baby names should sound great with "Mr. President" (I have high hopes for my kids!).

We eventually picked a girl’s name but couldn’t settle on a boy’s name. Of course, that meant we had a boy!

Our son remained nameless for the first twelve hours of his life. We had a short list of boy names, and prior to birth, we heavily favored Jack. But our baby didn't look like a Jack. Our baby was small and had creamy skin and light hair; I pictured a Jack baby being dark-haired and tough.

So I put out a call on Facebook: "We can't decide what to name the baby! Any ideas?" One friend, Jude, suggested we name him Jude; "Guys named Jude are handsome, smart, and popular!" he joked. My husband looked up from his phone and said, "You know what? I actually really like Jude." I thought it went nicely with our last name, but then, I turned to my son and said, "Hey, Jude..." and promptly nixed the idea for fear he'd never hear the end of the popular Beatles song.

We settled on Henry Boyle. Doesn’t "Henry Boyle, President of the United States" sound nice? His middle name is my husband's name. A year and a half later, my Henry has turned into a spunky, strong fellow that totally could've been a Jack. Although I think Henry suits him quite well, he's the embodiment of everything I thought a Jack would be like.

Oh, well! At least we know what we'll name our next baby if it's a boy!

Photo by Felipe Salgado on Unsplash

My husband and I had good intentions when we chose to name our firstborn, Caitlin. At that time, no one on this side of the pond had ever heard of it. And even if they had, they were only familiar with the Gaelic spelling. Years later, Caitlin is one of the most popular girl names, with multiple spellings abound. In a crowded room, more than one head will turn at the sound of our daughter's name. Its overnight popularity is proof that name trends come and go, and public opinion changes quickly.

Three kids later, I reflect on the reasoning behind the naming of my three children. Although I suspect it's not much different from any parent's experience, here's what swayed my decisions.  

Does it sound okay? Saying your baby's name out loud is the true test of compatibility. First, middle and last names should flow as one. In my mind, that means shorter first names should be paired with longer last names, and vice versa. Likewise, first names that end in a vowel don't always sound right with a last name that begins with a vowel. These things mattered to us!

How does it look on paper? One day, your baby’s name will show up on a resume, a driver's license, and a diploma. His signature may even be famous. I like a name that stands out in written form.  

Is it too unusual or overly popular? Many people with common names know what it's like to have three other people with the same name in their third-grade class. These are the Megans and the Matthews of the world, and they vow to name their own child something unique. On the other hand, something too unusual could be difficult to pronounce or bring unwanted attention. It helps to strike a balance.

Can a name be different without being weird? Some celebrities are pushing the limits with baby names like North, Cricket, and Breeze. Different may be good, but weird could open your child up to ridicule and attention she'd rather avoid.

Do you want your child to have a nickname? Some names adapt to nicknames more readily than others. We chose Caitlin as our girl’s name, in part, because it rarely gets shortened, and it seemed equally appropriate as both a teenager and a grandmother.   

Do the initials pass the tease test? Make sure the initials don't spell out something undesirable, and don't forget that the first initial of the last name stands out on a monogram.

All things considered, my daughter still likes her name. Granted, she tires of spelling it out when asked, but I'm fairly certain she wouldn't trade it for anything else. And one day, perhaps, it won't be common anymore!

Photo by Minnie Zhou on Unsplash

Even before I was pregnant, my husband and I knew we wanted to give our baby a name that wasn’t super common and didn’t have any personal connotations for us. I went to an all-girls school, so I’ve heard just about every normal girls’ name; I wanted something different for our daughter.

That being said, we wanted a “real” baby name, not something we’d made up or a word that’s not really used as a name. I really liked to the idea of picking a girl name that’s common in other countries, and “Paloma” certainly fit the bill. It’s very popular in most Spanish-speaking countries and in Hungary, too -- there’s even a popular Spanish folk song called “La Paloma.”

Besides being unique and beautiful, I liked the baby name meaning of Paloma. The name means “dove,” a well-recognized symbol of peace. This meaning would give my daughter a “spirit animal” of sorts, even though it turns out she’s very strong and feisty --not very dove-like at all!

It also wasn’t something I had to go searching through baby name books for: As an art history student, I knew that Picasso’s daughter was named Paloma. Although I didn’t want to pay homage to Picasso per se, I was aware of the name and threw it out there when my husband and I were discussing potential baby names. He really loved it -- not only was it unique, but it sounded really nice with our last name.

At first, I was a little concerned that giving our daughter a Spanish name might seem odd, because we are not of Hispanic heritage. My husband and I both look very Irish. Even so, I liked the idea of giving our baby a name that connected her to other cultures -- and it has: She was playing with a Spanish-speaking little boy while we were waiting to board a plane, and his entire family got so excited when they heard our red-headed toddler was named Paloma. 

As much as we loved our baby name, I don’t think our families were crazy about it at first. My husband’s family is a little more traditional, so I wanted to give them time to get used to a more unique girl name. When we told them we’d decided on Paloma, they were definitely taken aback. However, within weeks, everyone was totally on board, even referring to my baby bump as “Paloma.” Now, I don’t think anyone could imagine our daughter with any name but Paloma!

Photo by Zach Lucero on Unsplash

My daughter Ally was just shy of eight months when she conquered a huge baby milestone and sat up on her own for the first time. My partner, Earl, and I had known for a while that our baby was getting close: for a few months leading up to that moment, we’d been able to prop her up with the support of our hands or against the couch, and we could tell she was getting stronger with each passing day.

The actual “first” happened on one of the rare times I wasn’t with Ally in those early months. I was only working part-time during the evenings -- otherwise, I was with her all the time. It turned out to be the only major baby milestone I missed.

Instead of seeing it with my own eyes, I heard about our baby sitting up from Earl when he called me at work.

Apparently he’d had Ally propped up in one of those reclining pumpkin seats that has toys hanging over them. Earl had briefly left the room and when he came back, she had pulled herself fully upright using the toy bar and was sitting up all on her own. According to her father, Ally was knocking those toys around like a little boxer, because she was so excited to be sitting up on her own. Of course it only lasted 10 seconds before she fell over, but she had proved to herself, and to us, that she could conquer this baby development step easily.

Slowly, Ally began to increase how long she could sit up by herself: for the first couple weeks, it was just for a minute or two before she’d fall over. Soon, she was doing it all the time. As a new mom, this made life a lot easier. I didn’t have to worry about her as much: instead of rolling all over the place, Ally now could sit up and play on her own, content to stay in one spot.

As disappointed as I was to have missed seeing my baby sitting up for the first time, it was really special that Ally’s father -- who missed many baby milestones because of his work schedule -- got this one all to himself. He was so cute and proud when he described it over the phone. It’s a memory I know Earl will always treasure, the same way I treasure the other important “firsts” I was able to personally witness.